Okay so now if you have read part 1, then you have a general idea of what this may be about as well! Over the past few years I have been very serious about my breast growth. I have tried several phytoestrogens (Natural Formulas) with no results! Very frustrating! I do however, have a case of "Gynacomastia" which is where male breasts are somewhat developed due to heredity, certain medications, weight and who knows what! For me pretty much all these with possibly the exception of heredity has caused me to have "Man Breasts". The one consolation for this is I can fill a small cup bra and I like that very much! I guess my big problem with "Man Breasts" are the shape! "Man Breasts" seem to just be an extension of the roll of fat from under the arms and just has more mass at the chest with the nipple being toward the far end of the breasts and pointing downward. I hate that! I am determind to grow real budding nipples and have them be at the front of the breast and hopefully a bit pointy! I love pointy upturned breasts! Now the fact that I am about to turn 55 is horrible enough because in most cases, breast development in older males especially is minimal. Now all of this is leading up to something I assure you! After my divorce 6 years ago I happen to meet a fine woman who is beautiful, intelligent and open minded. When we began to communicate, often via emails, I began to tell her of my interest in crossdressing. To my surprise she did not send a message back telling me to "Get Lost"! Instead she said that it kind of turned her on and since there is no harm in it or to anyone than so what! I was very excited by this and as we progressed in our relationship I was a bit more frank about my desire to have breasts. At first she was looking at me like "I don't get it". I explained that I really cannot give her a solid explanation for this and that I only know that the feelings are deep within myself and have haunted me for many, many years and I am so compelled to have "REAL" breasts that I am scared, concerned and yet yearning daily for this to be a reality! I pray to the universe to oblige me and grant my wish! My lady said that she would stand behind my wish and she feared for my happiness if it became reality. She is so right and I am so stubborn! There is Family. What do I say to them as I develop? What do I say to my friends? My Co-Workers? I would lose most of all of them with a very few exceptions I think! I wondered how I could hide my breasts? Tape them flat to my chest with duct tape? Ouch! Wear a compression vest? That would look great under T-Shirts on a hot sweltering day! No swimming in public! Ridicule by many! Is it really worth it I asked myself a thousand times? It is definately not worth it at all under the circumstances! Somehow I still desire and yearn and I am proceeding with my desire! My lady is now My wife 6 years later or the present! She doesn't seem to mind my dressing up if I so decide but now there is a new twist. You see, I love dressing up and feeling feminine and trying to look feminine. When I put on the attire I feel like I am the right person and I am confident in my persona! Then I look into the mirror! It is depressing to say the least! I am a man who is aging, I have a gut, I have facial hair that is greying, I am 6 ft 1 inches tall and large framed from Eastern European ancestry! I look about as feminine as an N.F.L. Lineman in his uniform! I hate it! I hate that I am like this! I hate I am not a woman! I was ripped off at birth! No one to blame! If I had known who I really was at age 19 I would have taken the needed steps to proceed and damn the torpedoes! Damn what anyone would think of me! I would in fact start a new life and be a Transsexual with a fabulous feminine body and an ample penis! I haven't mentioned it to anyone that I am trying new products that are "Suppose" to work at male breast development. I am taking it slow as to keep my costs under control! You see We just got married last weekend! My wife has mentioned to me several times that if I went the route of becoming a Transsexual she would be history and understandably so! I mentioned Feminine Facial Surgery and she was immediately defensive and I just remarked I was kidding! I really wasn't. I do want the surgery but know I will never have it! Money and the destruction of my relationships hold me back! Hold me back! That is what circumstnces do to people who are somewhat weak in deciding what it is that is really true for them! I wanted to begin a real hormone regimen so I can develop my body in the hips and then even go with corset training to bring my waistline in and higher as a real woman's! I applied the topical solutions on my breasts and have taken the formulas to develop them as well. I would be very delighted with budding nipples and areola growth rather than volume if I could! I have to do something about my body hair! Too much! To have my dream come true assuming my life would be "Peachy Keen" I could accomplish most of all what I need to do to be a feminine amazon! $70,000 should cover it! I have spent thousands on clothing to only throw them all away out of guilt and disgust for myself! I have continued to do this over the years but not now! I keep the clothes that are very nice classy outfits and shoes! I want to present myself as someone with class and who is serious about a neat and pretty appearance! I bough a few hundred dollars worth of clothing today on the "Newport News" website! I begin with a trainer soon to lose the gut and I will begin hair removal soon. I pray I do not damage my relationships! I so pray!

 

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